Tattered Journal Entry

Envy was my downfall. That loathsome emotion I now nurture with every unneeded breath I take. How I despise it and yet feel comforted by it's presence. The only constant companion I know these days, everything else is either deaf to my voice or long since passed on to it's next life, whatever that may be. It is in these moments that I see how truly bitter I have become, but it will pass one day when she is set free. The envy you can now feel seep out of my skin and taste in the air I exhale is my greatest adversary. Do not be so presumptuous to think this feeling was mine. No, it was my love's, in a way. It passed to me not on the day that she broke our connection but consumed me on the day that She That Spoke was murdered and She That Loved was caged. How wondrous a creation she was that man and fey, beast and dragon alike would devote years or lifetimes and occasionally beyond to Her. Unable to see how they have wasted their lives trying to tame and enslave in their Practice. Fools with titles and tokens to signify rank or ability, never knowing how truly powerless they are. I am nauseated when they speak, declaring their status as Slaver and Task Master over my love. All the while I watch, confirming my beliefs and hardening my resolve. I can see their frustration even when they do not know that it exists. Watching their struggle to harness and maintain, all the while reveling in the ecstasy they have stolen from She That Gives. It is that feeling of pleasure that they become addicted to, always trying to increase and expand the euphoria of their lust. I do envy them for it. For their ability to use and take and feel. How jealous I have become for those I disdain as I covet from the shadows for years after they are gone.

-Nalimvere